I'm older. Again.

I find myself facing another birthday in less than 24 hours. At this thought, my first, fleeting urge is to curl up in a ball and shriek, "Why does this keep happening to me?" But I must be growing up, because upon further reflection, I remembered that each birthday is truly a blessing and an opportunity.

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.

~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

What a beautiful thought. It fits so well with my feeling that this birthday is a gift— not a box covered in bows to be ripped open and exclaimed over, but a delicate handful of time from God in which I can continue to contemplate and sculpt my life, myself. It’s humbling and yet strangely comforting to know that God trusts us enough to allow us so much control over the shape of our souls. Each choice we make chisels away at a block of marble with infinite potential for either beauty or destruction. Too often I don't pay much attention to where the hammer falls as I go from day to day. Chiseling feels like such drudgery-- especially when my days are filled with diapers, dishes, driving, dinners, dirt-- and I lose sight of the larger work of art, the divine sculpture of a goddess that should be my goal. This year I will remind myself what a joy it is to live in this beautiful world, to breathe each morning, to kiss the scruffy cheek of the man that I love, to see the beautiful smiles of my children, to turn the pages of a good book, to wear a pair of sexy shoes. I need to be more aware of the choices that I make, to strive more diligently toward the potential glimmering in my future. I want to be more thankful for the woman that I am and more conscious of the woman I want to become.

(To read my thoughts from last year's birthday, click here. I've checked off one of my things to do this decade!)